


the lightbulb

by neverwritingagain



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, an introspective drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 14:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverwritingagain/pseuds/neverwritingagain
Summary: Eva's mom is finally coming back after one of her usual business trips, her much awaited return brings up some of her daughter's worst demons.orEva spends her Sunday morning fighting a lightbulb and Chris is there for her.





	the lightbulb

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I wrote this messy drabble after watching the finale (and after being let down by it).  
> I can very much relate to Eva and some of her personal struggles, which I tried to bring up once again in this fic, and like many others I'm not satisfied of how her character development has been handled after they wrapped up her season.  
> I also care a lot about her and Chris, their background plot throughout the seasons was something I truly enjoyed, that's why that ending (and whatever they decided to do with the both of them) made me mad. 
> 
> That being said, this fic is heavily Eva centered. My goal was to make the readers feel what she feels. That's the reason why at some point everything may seem confusing (or maybe not, who knows, it could really depend on who is reading). 
> 
> Chris is still an important part in this, I tried to give some kind of introspective description of him too (cause I care about this boy and he did not get closure or development in canon), keep in mind though, that we are experiencing things from Eva's point of view. 
> 
> Have a good read!

Ah yes. Sunday morning.  
The most peaceful moment of the chillest day of the week. 

The sun is shining (it's not, water is pouring down the sky to the point even Noah would be taken aback), birds are chirping (they really aren't, they are most likely freezing their asses off, no time for harmonizing today).

Like every other Sunday morning though, Eva is comfortably nestled in her bedsheets, without a care in the world she seems to be sleeping away the earlier hours of the day. Her weekend was nothing eventful, really. The usual party on Friday night (how she ended up drinking less than usual is still a mystery, her subconscious tells her Noora has something to do with it) and a lazy brunch with the girls in Sana's backyard on Saturday. 

Now, everything would look absolutely normal, if not slightly monotonous, if Eva haven't willingly avoided to spend much time in her own house during the past few days.

The thing is, Eva became way more confident since her first year at Nissen. That year was life changing for her, and she truly came out of the messy situation she suddenly found herself in as a person with much more self respect. Some things though, never seem to change.  
For example, still to this day, Eva can't trust herself not being clumsy as hell at the worst fucking time. That's exactly why, since Friday morning her mind is set on this exact sentence "this house has got to be pristine looking when the clock ticks 1 pm on Sunday". Eva doesn't usually forget important stuff that easily, this time though she decided not to risk it and successfully covered every important surface of the house with bright pink post its with the infamous sentence. Some on the fridge, some others on her desk and even a bunch on the bathroom mirror, just to emphasize her vibrant need to remember. (She realised she went a little over the top when it was too late, the lazier part of her would have never taken down any of the notes at that point).  
Apparently she thought that was the only way she would have avoided burning the house down or leaving her sink overflow with water. (The other option was completely leaving the house for two days, she almost did it, but then remembered how comfortable her bed was, unlike you know, the sidewalk outside). It's kind of scary to be really honest, for the past couple of days whenever Eva walked around the house she could feel like the little notes hanging everywhere were judging her, reminding her of how much of a failure she was. 

That's the exact word Eva has on her mind as she starts slowly waking up. Failure. It's around 10 am and her mom said she would be home at exactly 1 pm. She will be home for a whole week after almost two months away with only a couple quick visits in Oslo. And Eva really, really, really wants to make it clear to her mom that she's 100% not a failure. She may have once been messy, unorganized and absolutely not trustworthy, but she changed and can not wait for her mom to realise she can take care of herself and, of course, of the house.  
This need of validation could be the result of a pretty heated conversation the two women had more than a year ago, around the time Eva hosted her last house party ever, casually forgetting to tell her mom about the ever growing mass of teens getting through their door, resulting in the police banging on that same door and the house being trashed.  
Or, as much as Eva doesn't wanna think about it, this huge train of thoughts (way too much thinking for this early on Sunday morning) could be the most private, young, inner part of herself seeking her mom's approval during the little time said mom is actually physically present in the house. Eva thinks this could be their opportunity to start acting like a real family for a while.  
Maybe not a family, really, but she would be ok with a regular mother-daughter relationship.  
Eva has this day marked on her calendar and she's definitely ready to stay true to her promise and make her mom proud, starting from waking up at a decent hour, having a breakfast full of proteins and getting ready for today's activities. 

She tells herself she can forget about her physics exam for a little while, she's shit at it anyway, it really isn't that important right now (her physics book and notes are sitting on her desk, and pretty much like the pink post its, they are a constant reminder of what's really bugging her at the moment). 

The sound of rain pouring down outside takes her back to her task at hand. Getting out of bed is not hard at all, Eva stretches a bit and finally makes her way upstairs and towards the kitchen. She's hungry, not gonna lie. Yes, she's a functional organised almost adult but that doesn't mean she learned how to cook out of nowhere, so last night her dinner consisted of lukewarm noodles. She's a simple girl, a bowl of noodles and some basic netflix show can save your night, she knows it (you know it and I do too).  
Eva is taken aback by how little light is getting through the windows upstairs, it's pretty clear by now it's been raining for a while, but apparently the sky is also covered by a good amount of dark clouds and the atmosphere outside is getting gloomy. Eva doesn't think twice about it and flicks the light switch on. 

Well, that's strange. No light. 

She tries once again. Then again and again, but the light won't turn on.  
Eva looks at the switch like it's her worst enemy and sighs loudly (who even cares about her being loud, she's always alone in this huge apartment, it's not like anyone would complain anyway).  
Ok, she thinks, maybe the power was cut off because of the obvious storm going on at this exact moment.  
She switches on every light in her living room and no, the power hasn't been cut off.  
Eva can feel her (already forced) positivity starting to crumble. Then she does the logical thing and glances at the baroque-looking chandelier hanging from the ceiling.  
Yup, she thinks, that lightbulb wasn't looking that dark yesterday night. 

So that's how Eva Mohn finds herself in a pretty common situation but successfully starts freaking out like there's no tomorrow.  
She knows it shouldn't be that important, it's a damn lightbulb, the freaking chandelier can survive without lighting up her kitchen for another three hours, then her mom will change it and everyone under this roof will be smiling again. But then her subconscious speaks up once again and "You're a grown-up now, Eva, you're mature enough to prove a point to your soon-to-be-here birth giver and CHANGE THAT LIGHTBULB BY YOURSELF".  
And who is she not to listen to her surely wise subconscious? Who cares if she doesn't know how to change a lightbulb? 

She's a proud millennial, Google is her friend.  
Wiki-how always sounded stupid, for real, but this time it will have to work. After less than ten minutes of scrolling, Eva gathered that changing a lightbulb is rather easy, a child could do it, but there's this word that keeps coming up on every website she visits (sometimes it's even underlined in a bright red, and that's never good). 

"Electrocuted" 

Oh no, she doesn't like it at all, she's not a fucking physician but she's still damn sure than word links to death or at least pain, for what she knows. And Eva Mohn will not die because of a stupid lightbulb. That's for sure. 

Eva is now sitting on the kitchen table, her legs dangling, trying to think at a possible solution for this, admittedly, stupid quest she's tryna solve. She's not going to let her mom think she can't take care of a basic situation, but she sure can call someone with more experience and make them do it for her! Her friends won't judge her for being scared of touching that sadistic thing hanging from the ceiling. On the contrary, they're really understanding most of the time. 

That's how she ends up calling Noora.  
The girl has been living by herself for most of her teenage years, she's spent god knows how much time in Madrid all alone, and she was really young too. She definitely knows how to change a lightbulb without dying, Eva has no doubt.  
She's really thankful for Noora, since she came in her life she became kind of a constant for her. Noora has her shit together, Eva looks up at her for that, she's sharing an apartment with two older people and it's obvious to everyone who's the boss in the house. (Not that Eskild and Linn will ever complain about that, Noora is the little force of nature that keeps their dysfunctional family going). 

Eva is a little startled when a deep voice full of sleep answers her call. That's definitely not Noora. 

"...halla?" A yawn. 

"Hey!...hi William" 

"Eva? I guess you were looking for Noora, she's kind of asleep right now" 

Ok, Eva is almost ready to take back whatever praising speech she just gave in honor of her blonde friend because, what the hell is she doing still asleep on this rainy depressing Sunday morning? (Eva shushes her thoughts for a moment, because if it wasn't for her mom coming back she would be sleeping too) 

"Yeah, I'm sorry for waking you up, I was just looking for some advice, but don't worry! Keep on sleeping, I mean, don't worry about me, I'll be fine!" 

Eva is mumbling and she knows it. She will never say it out loud but William kind of still intimidates her a little? He doesn't scare her, it's not that, but as much as he's been dating one of her best friends for a good while, the two of them still haven't had a proper conversation. Guess that's it then, Eva thinks after a minute, what a nice convo.  
William doesn't know her that well, she guesses Noora talks about her to him and that would be it, but he somehow manages to catch the discomfort in her voice. 

"Eva, are you sure you are ok? You sound a little stressed out" 

Wow, the boy is right. That's it, she's stressed out and scared of a damn lightbulb. Way to start her Sunday  
"No, it's fine really. I'm just having trouble with a lightbulb..." 

Fucking fantastic, that sure sounds like you've got everything under control. 

"You don't know how to change it?" 

He's not mocking, just surprised. Or perplexed, he just woke up and is on the phone with a mumbling girl not so clearly asking for tips on lightbulbs. 

"It's easy, really, you just get on a ladder, or a stool, you get the old lightbulb and put in a new one" 

He's sweet, Eva is thankful for his nice words, but she's not fucking stupid, she knows what she has to do (she learned it less than ten minutes ago but that doesn't mean she's not a pro at it). She only really needed her friend to come over and do it for her because she doesn't trust herself.  
Here, she said it. Really pathetic Eva. It's funny (or not at all), she wants her mom to think she's cool and collected but she doesn't trust herself.  
Oh no, Eva can do this, she managed to build her self-esteem after being crashed to the ground, she can do this. 

"Oh, yeah right, so it's that easy, right. Just called to be sure, you never know what could go wrong" 

Yes, exactly, you never know. For example you could call your friend and end up having an idiotic conversation with her sleep deprived boyfriend. 

"So, everything's fine? You want us to come over or..."

"No! No, it's not necessary, really. You don't worry, I got it! Say hi to Noora for me though, have a nice day" 

William only has the time to say a brief "bye" and Eva already hanged up.  
Amazing, nothing is solved. And she wasted some important minutes.  
Eva stares at the chandelier for a moment. She never liked that thing, it doesn't really blend with the rest of the house. Everything is modern and shiny, the chandelier looks like it came out from an ancient and pretentious french castle. Her mom loves it though. She once mentioned finding it in a thrift shop in Copenhagen. 

Her train of thoughts is crashed by her obnoxious ringtone.  
Chris. As her friend Chris, space buns and everything. Her picture comes on her screen and Eva almost screams of happiness cause, why hasn't she thought about Chris earlier? That girl managed to find a freaking van in less than a week, of course she knows how to change the enemy up there. 

"Hey Chris"

"Halla girl! Just wanted to check on you, is your mom back yet?"

Chris is likely the sweetest girl she has ever met. She called to check on her, she knows that Eva has been trying to keep cool about the whole thing, but she's actually going crazy about her mom coming back.  
Chris and Eva had a long chat about it, a pretty drunk one too, because it's easier for Eva to talk about this stuff when she lets her drunk self take over. She doesn't remember much about that talk, just them sitting on a porch on a chilly Friday night and her telling Chris something on the lines of "she's never home, when she actually is she just screams at me because my grades are shit and then she's gone once again". It wasn't nice, but at the same time it was, cause Chris never judges, she listens and then she hugs you and maybe pats your head. Chris is amazing and would never make Eva feel bad for asking a favor, that's what Eva tells herself when she answers. 

"No, no she's not here yet. But I've got a problem Chris..."

"Well, tell me, maybe I can help!"

"So, I've got to change a lightbulb-" 

"Please tell me we're not talking about that obnoxious chandelier in your kitchen, that thing is a fucking insult to every chandelier on earth!" 

Here we go again, Chris and her hatred for the chandelier.

"It's not that ugly, Chris, mom loves it and-"

"It looks like a roasted starfish, Eva, but anyway, go on."

"So, I know how to do it, obviously, but I'm... I'm not really sure how to... approach it and-" 

"Have you tried asking nicely? Wait, maybe you've got some common interests, you could bond over a cup of coffee or something..." 

Eva can hear her snicker. Unbelievable. 

"I'm joking Eva! Come on! What's so hard about it? Are you sure all this drama is about a lightbulb?" 

Ok, apparently Chris gets her more than she gets herself. But still, the lightbulb is bugging her from its place up there, so yeah, the problem here is definitely the lightbulb. 

"I read online that you can easily get electrocuted by trying to change this thing, and I really don't wanna die so-" 

"For the love of god, Eva! Just make sure the lightbulb is cool and the light is switched off, you can't get electrocuted and die if electricity doesn't play a part in this" 

Maybe Eva should have started revising for that physics exam a little earlier. 

"Oh, ok. Of course. I'm not gonna die. I'm not." 

"You're not dying and I'm 100% sure you can do it girl"

"Yeah?"

"Of course! You go Eva Mohn, destroyer of lightbulbs, queen of electricity, master of-"

"Ok Chris, I got it, stop making fun of me!"

"You're saying you've finally understood how to ~approach~ your lovely lightbulb?"

"Oh fuck off, Chris!"

"Love you too! Go change that fucker!"

"I'm going, I'm going, thank you Chris" 

Talking with Chris definitely leaves Eva feeling a bit lighter. Chris is always so down to earth, for a moment Eva realised how stupid all this drama, like Chris called it, is and how she's getting anxious because of such a simple task. 

The thing is, Eva is like that, she despises situations like this so incredibly much. For once she managed to make everything look perfect and fucking pristine, like the little pink notes are screaming at her from any corner of the room, and this tiny, pointless thing hanging over her head decided to die right now. Fuck off, she thinks, why didn't she receive any extra luck at birth. 

Somehow she managed to get in a bad mood once again. So she does what's usual for her when she's feeling useless and like the world is crashing on her, she sits on the floor and looks into the distance. She would really like to lie down now, but the floor is cold and she's only wearing a long shirt that reaches her thighs (also If she does lie down, she will have to look up and the one thing she will see is, you guessed it, the motherfucking lightbulb of doom).  
Her hopelessness quickly becomes anger and her eyes start tearing up.  
It's not about the fucking lightbulb, it really isn't, Chris was right.  
It's all about her mom, her suddenly coming back, her never being here, her leaving Eva behind, her leaving her dad and moving to Oslo, her pestering Eva about her grades, her seemingly not giving a single fuck about how lonely her daughter feels in this big silent house. But it's also about herself, and her need to be that daughter her mom really wants, the one who's good at school (she's not, she tries, she really does, but she's not), the one who doesn't throw random parties and trashes their house (she likes partying and that was a mistake), the one who she can trust when she's abroad for so long (she almost did it this time, but then the lightbulb died).  
So Eva sits there, and heavy tears of tiredness start making their way down her cheeks. She doesn't make a noise. All her bottled up anger and loneliness comes out through her tears. 

The storm keeps being loud outside and at some point there's a knock on the door.  
That's it, she thinks, she's back a little earlier and here I am, still in my pajamas and crying on the floor.  
But her mom, realises Eva, doesn't have to knock, she lives here and she owns the keys to that door.  
She stands up and makes her way to the door.  
When she opens it, she doesn't even know what to think anymore. 

Chris. Her other Chris. Penetrator Chris, like she calls him around her friends (he's just Chris for her, it's been like that for a while)  
He isn't completely soaked yet, but he will soon be if he doesn't get in quickly. He's about to greet her, that's for sure, but something stops him and suddenly he wears a concerned expression.  
Eva, even in her messed up state, is taken aback. He doesn't remember ever seeing him being concerned. Not even that one time at a party when one of the Penetrator boys drank way too much, passed out and wasn't waking up at all. Chris had spent a good twenty minutes slapping him in the face and shouting his name, till the guy eventually woke up.  
Chris makes his way inside and closes the door.  
A second later he has his arms wrapped around Eva and this time she's actually sobbing in his drenched jacket, because on this gloomy Sunday morning what she really needed was some human warmth. Somehow they end up on the couch, Chris removes his jacket and Eva is quick to press herself in his chest once again. He's freezing and Eva is warm with tears, the gentle collision of their bodies is something even the biggest physician couldn't explain right now.  
A little while passes and Eva finally gathers the force to speak. 

"Chris, what are you doing here?"  
"I came here for that" and he points at, yes, the lightbulb behind their backs. 

Ok, now Eva really is surprised.  
"Did you suddenly became psychic or what?"  
"William texted me, said you called Noora asking for advice on a broken lightbulb or something, but you sounded a little stressed and so I came here" 

If Eva had the force to do it, she would probably look at him with heart eyes right now. He legitimately came here under the rain because someone told him she sounded stressed. Wow. 

In the span of a couple pondering minutes Eva revises their current relationship.  
They make out a lot, they hook out a lot and sometimes he stays over and they eat together.  
Maybe staying over becomes watching some of those never ending shitty netflix shows, or making pancakes in the middle of the night. Sometimes one of them gets emotional over something and there sparks the opportunity to rant about their lonely family situations.

They're not that different, Eva and Chris, they both live by themselves in modern houses too often empty of that typical warmth you expect to find in a family house. They're loud at parties and become reckless when drunk. They met like that, so. 

Day by day Chris made is way in Eva's life. He started coming over in the day light, helping her with homework, just hanging out in her living room with her while she's having a lazy afternoon in. At some point Eva realised her and Chris became what people in movies refer as a "no strings relationship". She was cool with it, Chris was too. They never really talked about it, there was this silent acknowledgment by both parties. And that was ok.  
Their proximity made Eva realise that Christoffer Schistad was a really nice guy. A little cocky most of the time, but sweet. Really sweet. 

Eva's attention is taken back by Chris slowly getting up from the couch. He presses a kiss to her temple and makes his way to the chandelier. He's inspecting it with nonchalance. 

"Do you have a new one, here in the house?"  
Eva looks at him and shakes her head. She's got that lump in the throat you get after you cried a lot.  
"I'll have to go buy it then, I know a place nearby"  
Chris looks at her, sees the tired look on her face and moves back to the couch.  
He strokes her hair for a little while, smiles a careful smile and asks the real question.  
"What got you so worked up, Eva?"  
Eva is reminded of one of the first time they ever had a conversation. 

She was crying even back then. And he was being the fuckboy he was. Calling her pretty and looking at her with understanding.  
Did something between then even change? They grew up, that's for sure. She fully trusts him now and he doesn't play stupid games anymore. 

"Mom is coming back in a hour and the stupid lightbulb exploded, and you know I hate it when a little thing fucks up my day"  
"Yeah, I know, how long is she staying this time?"  
"A week" 

Here it is again, that look. The "don't be a fool and get used to having her around, she's gonna leave again at some point and you're gonna feel like shit". They talked about it, Chris' dad does the same. He just learned how not to get his hopes up. 

"I'm gonna go buy that new lighbulb"  
He doesn't even give Eva the time to react and he's already out of the door. 

During those fifteen minutes by herself Eva changes attitude. She gets herself together, puts on some fresh clothes and manages to make herself some milk with cereals and a cup of dark coffee for Chris. She has the time to think about this whole mess of a morning. She thinks about how anxious she may have sounded on the phone with William if he actually called Chris to make sure she was fine. She thinks about Chris making fun of her for over exaggerating.  
She looks up at the lightbulb and almost laughs because what the hell, stress really makes you go crazy. 

When Chris comes back he has the new lightbulb, a bouquet of yellow tulips and his usual smirk on the lips. For once Eva doesn't make fun of him being dramatic and actually thanks him.

"Thank you Chris, you really didn't have to bring me flowers"  
"Oh these? These aren't for you, I bought these for your mom, you know, since she's coming back later" 

Eva looks at him with the most annoyed look she can give. 

"I'm joking, of course they're for you" he says with that little light in his eyes.  
She's laughing "Fuck you, you can keep them" 

It's nice to have joking Chris back, understanding Chris is supportive and gentle but whenever he takes over, Eva is reminded of all these deep insecurities they share with eachother and how Chris has to overcome his own fears to make her feel better.  
By anyway, now they're ok, that's what really matters.

Chris takes approximately four minutes to change the lightbulb. He gets on a stool, passes the broken lightbulb to Eva and puts in the new one. 

"All done, are you happy now?"  
Eva takes a moment to look at him and then hugs him once again.  
"Thank you, really, for everything"  
"Everything for my favourite girl" 

After Chris finishes his coffee, he announces that he really has to go.  
Eva walks him to the door and, just before he steps out, Chris points at the chandelier and just says "Not to be offensive, but that chandelier is horrible, I would hate it too if I had to live under the same rooftop as that thing"  
Eva laughs "What is with everyone and the chandelier, mom loves it"  
Chris looks at her seriously  
"That's what your mom thinks, do you like it though?"  
Eva ponders for a moment, looks at the chandelier and then back at Chris.  
"No, I don't think so" 

And then Chris is laughing and she's laughing, because honestly who cares if her mom doesn't think she's responsible enough? or mature enough? or good enough?  
On this gloomy Sunday morning Eva was enough for herself. Ok, maybe she didn't do it all alone, but who ever said that's not how it should be? She has a nice group of valid friends that care about her well being, constantly ready to back her up. And she has the smiling boy in front of her, the one who presented himself on her porch while it was pouring down cats and dogs. Just for her.

Eva looks at the darkened lightbulb in her hands. She hated this thing just half a hour ago. Your destiny plays some sick games sometimes.  
For once she's the one talking to her subconscious. What was it? A metaphor for growing up? For finding your place in the world and people who care about you? Some crazy way to make her realise there are worst things in this works other than a dead lightbulb?

Eva really doesn't know, right now she's smiling.  
It's still raining, maybe she will go back to bed. 

Maybe flipping off the chandelier on her way back to her bedroom doesn't look very mature of her. 

But honestly, who cares? Surely not her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, you lovely humans! <3  
> Comments are always much appreciated!  
> I'd love to know what y'all think about my writing!


End file.
